How Do I Overcome or Move on After Losing Someone?

The past few years might have made you realize and acknowledge a few things. For me, it was never easy to get attached to someone but after all these years we all look for HOW TO LIVE ALONE, HOW TO BE STRONG and HOW TO COPE AFTER YOUR BREAKUP!

With time we realized that if you love him/her for real, then you are stuck in real trouble. Because you may find it easy to love someone, but you can’t un-love the same person no matter what (if you love them for real). There’s no easy way to shot down those feelings, affection, memories, and the moments you had together.

If you truly want to move on and want to be strong, then the first and foremost thing is to accept that yes you truly love him/her. And your affection, love, and feelings for her are real and deep. Also, acknowledge those emotions and then wish her/him the best and try to stay away from her/him. Don’t be sorry, you trusted him/her. Trusting someone is not a mistake. Be yourself, don’t fake your feelings. If you really want to cry, DO IT! If you really want to get angry, DO IT! Don’t hold yourself, once you cry, you will feel that you have lost a huge burden off your chest. Always have in mind that it may take years or decades for you to get over him/her, but eventually it will happen. Time is the best healer and you’ve got to trust it. I know that the pain you’re experiencing is not easy to handle, I can completely empathize with you but love is about wanting them to be happy not about possession.

But sometimes it is really hard to breakdown that emotional wall that we have built around us to save our hearts, feelings, and emotions because we are often misunderstood by others around us. Care is sometimes misunderstood as pestering, even love is being misunderstood as pestering, not moving on is sometimes misunderstood as relentlessness and weakness.

  • Remember it took us just a second to love for the first time? To love our mom.
  • The second time it took us another second to have our first crush.
  • The third time it really took us a few minutes to have a crush in school. Yeah, it took some minutes back then.
  • The fourth time it really took a few days, my crush at college.
  • The fifth time, it just happened out of nowhere, my first true love.

But it didn’t work out, because it was unwanted affection, but you still love them. Got yourself hurt, no sleep, no appetite, lost so many “friends”, misunderstood and judged by many people around you and so on and in the end, it takes forever to love, trust and feel someone ever again. You find it next to impossible to trust people again and to be vulnerable to such a traumatic and damaging experience. It really hurts, it even might have given you heartache sometimes when you think of the memories and moments you spent together.

Always wanted to say those things to her on her face.

  • I’m sorry for choking you with my true love.
  • I’m sorry that I loved you like hell even when you wanted to stay away and to move on.
  • I’m sorry if my love was ill-treatment and torture.
  • I’m sorry if I loved you so damn much that you lost your space to do other things.
  • I’m sorry if not moving on was my weakness.
  • I’m sorry if I ever made you freak-out with my unconditional and endless love.
  • I’m sorry if my intentions of wanting you were misunderstood as being clingy, retentive, and tacky.
  • I’m really sorry!

How to Cope After Your Breakup?

We all are human and we are constantly evolving and learning. We all have flaws. But the right person will find the good in you and will ignore the bad in you. A few words from my mind:

Meet New People

Meeting new people can be of great help to you to move on. There are many studies over the internet that have concluded evident benefits for our mental health after a breakup if we begin to see new and like-minded people. If you’re having a hard time meeting new people, look for people around you in your circle or you can try dating apps like tinder or Badu too.

Keep Yourself Busy

Keeping yourself busy is going to be of great help. There are a few things you should definitely try like joining a gym, spending more time on NetFlix, focusing on your career, or writing if you really like it.

Join a gym

It is going to be of great help. Invest your energy to something that will help you truly feel better. Exercise is of great importance with respect to mental health.

Focus on your hobbies

Now is the time to start working on the things you always wanted to. If you like writing, start doing it like I am doing it right now.

Focus on your career

Invest more and more energy into your career. Many studies (available on the internet) have revealed that career-oriented people are the strongest people on this planet. Therefore focus on your studies if you are a student, and on work, if you are employed.

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